Men Do Complain

This is not a story I particularly want to tell nor one you may wish to read. But tell it I must.

Most of the anti-circumcision advocates I’ve met are women. I think a man’s perspective is in order. After all, we are the ones forced to deal most directly with the effects of circumcision. Most men are reticent to discuss this. As much as guys enjoy bragging about their sexual prowess, a frank discussion about the condition of their genitals is not a conversation they’re usually comfortable having with others. I’m not particularly comfortable discussing this, either, but I think it’s important.  So, I’ll set aside my discomfort and carry on.

I was circumcised as a baby. I don’t know what method(s) were used. I don’t know why my parents decided to do it. We’ve never discussed it and I don’t intend to ever bring it up. I’m not angry at them. I don’t particularly hold any animosity toward them. I do wish they hadn’t done it, but I suppose they were just following the custom of the time. For all I know, they thought they were doing me a favor.

For most of my life, I never thought twice about this. Only in the past few years, after much research, have I even begun to realize what was done to me.

Part of my body was amputated. I had no say in this. My penis was mutilated. I’m sorry if that makes anyone uncomfortable, but it’s my body and that’s how I feel. I was born with a fully-functioning penis and my parents chose to have part of it chopped off.

I must have been in a lot of distress during the circumcision. I probably screamed and cried. I may have went into shock. It is incredibly painful and frightening for a child. Research shows that circumcision negatively impacts a developing baby’s brain. And how could it not? To be taken from one’s mother, forcibly strapped down, and sliced at with a scalpel would be horrifying for anyone, especially a newborn. What a terrifying introduction to the world.

To make things worse, after considerable reading, I now know that my foreskin would have been a useful part of my anatomy. It serves to provide ample pleasure for the male during sexual activity. More pleasure? Yes. More pleasure. I have been denied this. I don’t even know what I’m missing. How much better would sex be if I had my entire body at my disposal?Men Do Complain

And it is not only I who suffer. My wife misses out on a great deal, as well. A man’s foreskin not only enhances his pleasure, but that of his female partner. Honestly, this knowledge troubles me the most. I do sometimes feel less than adequate. My body does not provide her the pleasure she deserves. Do I worry that she’ll seek out another who can provide her that extra stimulation? No, not at all. So much more goes into sexual intercourse (and relationships in general) than just an intact penis. Yet, I worry she wonders what she’s missing out on. This bothers me. I worry that I’m not “man” enough for her.

I hate that this was done to me. I wish my parents had done some research prior to consenting to the surgery. I wish they had chosen not to take something from me that could never be returned. I wonder if they ever considered that someday I would be a grown man and that I might not share their values and beliefs. I wonder why they chose to have a purely cosmetic surgery performed on me as a newborn. I wonder if they even asked any questions of the doctor. It troubles me that what I might have preferred, as an adult, was probably never considered.

I live with their decision everyday. I share this not to elicit sympathy, but to simply ask that you look at your new baby boy – not as a baby – but as the man he will become. Why take that choice away from him? Why deny him that which cannot be recovered? It is his body, after all. Shouldn’t he decide for himself?

Well, that was uncomfortable to write. Hopefully, my discomfort may mean that other little boys may not endure the same barbaric procedure. Thanks for reading.

More info at the following links:

Detailing the functions of the foreskin.  Graphic images.  Definitely NSFW.

Dispelling the purported medical benefits of circumcision.

More info from Saving Our Sons.

38 comments to Men Do Complain

  • We chose not to have the procedure done for our little one. We both felt it was unnecessary and cruel. Kudos for writing about a difficult subject, but it is an important issue. Sometimes I think people feel that a child won’t remember something or it won’t affect them because they are a baby. Personally, I think such things can do more harm.
    Mrs. Redd

  • K.L.

    I am a woman who is outraged that my husband was circumcised. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective, as awkward as it must be for you. I think there needs to be a large voice of men who advocate leaving boys intact.

    I want to advise men who have been circumcised that there is a cheap method of non-surgical foreskin restoration. You can research it online. A few of the circumcised men in my family are going to do this. It is a long process, but one that I hope will be worth it.

  • miss l

    I love how frank you are about things.we never even considered it for our children why change them? To me they are perfect. Good on you for speaking out and with any luck making other parents think more carefully. Is there anything about you’re blog and Facebook page I don’t like??no!!

  • Much to the consternation, confusion and high-dudgeon disapproval of those around us (including his pediatrician!), we refused to allow our son (now 13) to be circed. I saw absolutely no reason to subject my brand-new baby boy to any more physical pain than he already had to undergo during birth, and I simply could not conceive of a “hygiene” issue that could not be overcome by instruction and expectation. For those who tried to claim some sort of religious significance, I also could not fathom — we are neither Jewish nor Muslim but evangelical Christians, and the New Testament specifically says that physical circumcision is unnecessary for religious grounds. The L&D nurses tried several times to take him out of my room to circ him and I was so grateful I was alert and adamant and in grizzly-mode. ROWR.

  • Jess

    My husband was circumcised, but we chose to leave our three sons intact. As I see them grow into men, I am so sad for all of the boys who were needlessly cut. Our boys have never had any health problems related to their foreskin. One of our boys had one minor UTI when he was 2. He took antibiotics for a week and it has never re-occurred. My husband is only now beginning to realize what was taken from him as a baby. It is very sad because when his parents did that to him, they were also doing it to his adult sexual relationship with his wife. I mourn the natural sex that my husband and I will never be able to experience with each other. I have experienced enough of life to know that God makes things perfect, and the perfect, natural sex of two intact partners is included in that. Human beings tend to think they can do better than God, but we usually only hurt ourselves with the results.

  • Thank you so much for standing up against your nerves to post such a deep and honest essay. The normalization of mutilation fo the most sensitive part of our most innocent and defenseless must be confronted. Your courage and bravery in just looking at the ugly truth is inspiring. Thank you so much!

    • What really stierks a chord with me is that female circumcision is barbaric yet male circumcision is desired? I couldn’t care less honestly, but I had a comment a few weeks ago from my sister and BFF that circumcision is the only way to go because “it stops you from getting AIDS and STDs.” I told them, very forcefully that they were idiots and if it was something they chose for their possible future sons that is fine but to please research it first because it most certainly doesn’t stop either of those from occurring. Then again I feel the same way about vaccinations and people who complain that their children get a disease they’ve been “immunised” against like vaccinating means they’re never going to get it. *sigh*I just want people to make important decisions on their children’s behalf educated beyond “well such and such told me” or “such and such did it and is fine” because I hate listening to them complain when it doesn’t turn out exactly as expected. I also don’t like the debate “like father like son” only because we teach our children their whole life to love themselves for their differences and for who they are but we have altered them immediately after birth. I feel like that makes you a hypocrite and it’s not something that would fly with my children. In the end it’s a parenting choice just like the breast vs bottle, cloth vs disposable, cosleeping vs not etc. etc. Each family makes a decision they feel is right. I doubt there are parents out there thinking “Geez my kid is pissing me off, I know I’ll cut their foreskin off!” You know? I just wish that more people educated and understood some of the choices they make. Not to change their mind, but so they felt more sure with it.

  • Beej

    According to my mom, I was circumcised at birth, however, by the time I was in my mid-teens, I recall having a foreskin. I know that, as an adult man, I had to have the procedure done because I was having trouble retracting the skin and, therefore, trouble keeping the area beneath it clean. Also, it was causing me pain during intercourse, and that was denying my wife and me discomfort.
    I do know that, at the time of my birth, in 1952, circs were a foregone conclusion, they were done and that was that. Since I was the fifth of six boys, it was probably done as routine, but, either it was not done right, or the doctor did a partial, or it regenerated.
    Since having my circ done, in 2000, at the age of 47, I have had much less trouble, and am glad I had it done, for the most part. All of my sons were stepsons, born before I married their moms, so, I had no say, since I was not around, but, who really knows? Times change, as do attitudes. I know that I was totally sedated during my procedure, and was, therefore, in no pain. Yes, we had to treat it post-op, but, I survived.

    • Nichole

      Beej, you were a consenting adult who had a corrective surgery. Not nearly comparable to infant circumcision. I’m glad that you are happy an comfortable now. Routine infant circumcision is cosmetic surgery on an infants genitals. That is what people speak against.

    • Ray

      I just want to let you know, there are steroid creams, and stretches to do to help the foreskin retract, and at worst a small slit can be cut, there is no reason to get a full circ for not being able to retract.

      That being said, awesome for you being able to choose to have it done as an adult with adequate pain management.

      It sounds like you got a loose circ that resulted in an adhesion, scar tissue forming between the cut foreskin and the glans(head). Normally during puberty the foreskin separates and retracts on it’s own, but scar tissue can make that more difficult.

      • Your arrogance is shonkicg! To think that all little boys are born with a problem that needs to be fixed by surgery? Look at the history behind circumcision. As it used to be it was just a drop of blood, not cutting off an entire organ, the prepuce. Educate yourself, please.There are NO real medical advantages to circumcision. It is not backed by ANY medical organization anywhere in the world. It is not like vaccinating your child. It is removing a vital part of their sexual organ without their consent. The comparison that pp are making regarding removing girls breast buds or labia may seem ridiculous to some, but so does removing the foreskin of a little boy. That is why they are comparing them. It should not happen!For any parent who is considering cutting their son, needs to do real research. Asking your doctor is NOT real research. They make money off your child suffering.Many more babies die from circumcision than choking every year. Why take that risk for your child. A boy dies every other day in the US because of circumcision. Are you willing to let your child die because someone told you that intact penises are unclean or gross? Don’t be lied to. Protect your children. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH.90% of males in the world are intact. The US is the English speaking country to promote it. Don’t be fooled. Check out drmomma.org That is a great place to start. Search Are you fully informed and learn everything you can. We shouldn’t be afraid to stand up for our sons just because it has been done for many years. It’s time for that to stop!

    • Jenn

      You “survived”, as you put it, because you were older and you were sedated. As you said, the doctor didn’t do it right to begin with and it caused problems. There are rarely any problems with a man who has his genitals intact. There are MANY problems with men who have been mutilated. Babies are not sedated. They go into shock after. Most people think they fall asleep because they’re fine. They’re not. Their bodies are in shock and they’re recovering from having part of their body amputated.

    • , it’s outrageous that we’re not ciuiimcrscng, when it has been shown to have this outcome completely ignoring the very real damage, as reported in the LA Times under the heading Injuries Linked to Circumcision Clamp . The chief expert on circumcision for the World Health Organization is Dr. David Tomlinson. He invented the improved Gomco, the improved Plastibell and the Accu-circ. Although it is a total conflict of interest, Halperin points to WHO, and WHO points to Halperin. Halperin is not a medical doctor. His PhD is in Anthropology and Latin American Studies.The whole thing is a total scam. The LA Times quotes Tomlinson as saying, Only about 10% to 20% of doctors use the Mogen clamp, according to Dr. David Tomlinson . It’s like free ad space for Mogen’s competition.Let me ask you a few simple questions. In the 1980s, 85% of adult American males were circumcised. Did any disease rates drop? Was HIV infection prevented? No. Conversely, the routine infant circumcision rates have dropped dramatically in Canada, the UK, New Zealand, Australia, and the US. Have disease rates gone up?No. New Zealand has one of the lowest HIV infection rates in the world.No one is saying a circumcised man is safe, without a condom. If he has to wear a condom, why should he have to give up half the skin of his genitals, for the privilege?Drs. Gray and Tobian have absolutely no sense of first, do no harm , or the simple ethics of you don’t remove healthy body parts from a non-consenting person .

  • Anthony

    Thanks for writing this.. It is such a super hard thing to talk about as it makes many people uncomfortable. I’m a pretty avid intactavist, and try to educate people as much as possible, but it’s still hard. Thanks again, this article took the words right out of my mouth.

    • I agree so much with you on all your points. I have a girl but would would never circ. a boy if I had one!I do not get it at all in this day and age where there is so much inoifmatron to prove that all the medical reasons for doing it are total b.s. and the only reason left is pure selfishness and vanity or because ‘everyone else is.’They want their son to look more like the ideal so they are willing to have him tied down and put through torture, have part of his genitals ripped off and risk infection, deformation and possibly death to do it. I am sorry no one in the world can justify that to me.

  • I did not want my son circumcised. My husband yelled, screamed, had his mother call me to do the same, and then he threatened to leave me. I was young, very newly married, and I caved in. I spoke to my ex-sister-in-law on Saturday about this.

    “Do you remember them pulling the baby from your arms/ Do you remember crying the entire time?”

    Of course I remember!! I still cry when I think about it. My husband left anyway. Him and his new wife have a son a few months younger than mine. They left him intact, and I have more animosity about that than I do about the affair.

    • Jenn

      WHAT THE HELL??? Was your ex Jewish? That’s the only reason I can think that a man would feel that strongly about it. Why would ANYONE want to mutilate a child?

      • “If your son asks why his penis is different can’t you just exlaipn that some men have a foreskin and some do not? It’s like telling your child that that person is black and that person is white because people come in all colors, shapes and sizes.”The trouble is, that isn’t completely true. Circumcision status isn’t inevitable like those traits. While not saddling a son with the whole catastrophe, I think they should be told something closer to the truth, like “Well, when daddy was born, they used to do a little operation to babies to make them look like that, but now they don’t so much, and we didn’t see any need to do it to you.” (Here is about the difference.) One thing that makse Intactivism an uphill job is that circumcision status is treated as just another fact of life, rather than the outcome of something someone consciously decided to do to them. I don’t think we should be instilling that idea in children.

    • roger desmoulins

      Find a safe and anonymous place on the internet to tell your story in full.
      You lost the battle, but won the war. I hope you find a way to rebuild your life, and to find the second and more loving husband you deserve.

  • Shawn

    Beej, it sounds like the doctor botched yours at birth and gave you a partial. That is known to cause all sorts of issues including the ones you describe.

  • Leanne McKenzie

    I was told that when my brother was born (1957) they gave him a “sugar plum” which was BRANDY… and he never felt a thing.

    When I had my first son, my mother had a fit because I refused to have him done. She went on about hygiene issues, so I said – if I can teach him to wipe his bum I am sure I can convince him to keep it clean.

    I couldn’t even bear the thought of taking my sweet babies and cutting them up, never mind considering getting them drunk to do so.

  • Mary

    THANK YOU for writing this. It is brave and honest, and so much necessary. You always articulate your viewpoints well. I am wondering why you don’t intend to bring it up to your parents? As far as I am concerned, I think honest conversations that hold people responsible for their decisions can help shine light upon the massive elephant in America of circumcision. I think so many people let decision-makers off the hook: “it was the custom”; “they thought they were doing me a favor” etc. But there is fault to be had. I was 23 and pregnant and probably could not have labeled foreskin on a diagram of a penis when I told my husband that no one would be cutting anything off my baby. You don’t need access to information; you don’t need research; it’s not rocket science not to cut a newborn baby. I think that people who made the decision to do so should be held accountable.

  • Angela

    I wish I knew what I didn’t know…He was my first born and the feeling I felt as he screamed when they strapped him to that…that contraption…you don’t forget that…I had a mother’s intuition and ignored it…

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Dave

    I am now pretty active with these anti-circ FB pages. Being intact, I feel so sad for my brothers (I also have three cut brothers) who are living through this. I am truly annoyed when I hear that there is “No way to tell if the pleasure is greater). I am older, single now by choice, and, of course, have had to get creative with my sex life. I don’t want to be TMI guy, so if you’re not objective, stop now. I wish to know if this test is possible. Remove the shower head from your shower and fill your tub with warm water, a nice relaxing bath. Turn the shower on, no head or vibrating nozzles, only hard enough to reach about halfway down the tub, to where your penis will be. Allow the flowing water to stimulate you. Does it feel good? Does it hurt? Is it just annoying? Can you reach orgasm? No use of hands. I’d like to know if this works on circumcised men.

  • Jelly

    Brave man for speaking out.

    I grew up in New Zealand and most guys my age have their foreskins and nearly all children today.

    I first learnt about circumcision when i was 15 after a friend told me he almost died after a doctor cut the glans of his penis off during the operation.I was disgusted when I learnt that Americans were still circumcising their children as the rates around the developed world had plummeted from the 1950’s -1980’s When Doctors said not to do it and the risks are too high.

    I love my foreskin and it gives me so much pleasure, I will never stop educating others on what the foreskin is and why we have it.

  • roger desmoulins

    If you were born before 1980 or so, it is very likely that you were circumcised without your mother having been asked. The practice of circumcising all newborn boys by default, became standard practice in the 1940s, when health insurance became a standard job benefit. When my brother was born in 1954, my mother wasn’t asked. It is my understanding that in those days, white middle class boys were circumcised unless they were born premature or unless the mother raised the subject and objected. In those days, mother and child stayed in the hospital for 10 days after birth, and baby stayed in the nursery. Boys were circumcised when they were 24 hours old, and nurses changed his bloody diaper. By the time mother and child were discharged, the penis had healed sufficiently that the mother was not necessarily aware that a circumcision had taken place.

    Thus the USA became a country where the only people who saw foreskin at any time in their lives were the obgyns who cut it off, and the maternity nurses who assisted them. Between 1960 and 2000, only old men and immigrants had foreskin. Many middle aged USA men, and most of their women peers, have never seen an intact man in the flesh. The result is parents who feel very uneasy about raising an intact son, and being reminded of the fact every time they change him diaper or give him a bath. These are not bad parents. Rather, the sexual art of their minds are victims of the American foreskin holocaust.

    American maternity wards began obtaining the mother’s prior written consent for RIC, after an orthodox Jewish baby boy was accidentally circumcised in a New York hospital around 40 years ago. For pious Jews, a medical circumcision does not satisfaction the requirement that a boy undergo brit milah. The parents sued the hospital and won.

    My mother had no clue that last century, American baby boys were circumcised without anesthesia. This fact did not become common knowledge until intactivists began broadcasting it around 20-25 years ago. I am surprised that USA medicine does not rationalise it away.

  • roger desmoulins

    “Most of the anti-circumcision advocates I’ve met are women.”

    I am a baby boomer. Over the course of my lifetime, men have grown shier about their bodies, and more reticent about sex. Women have been moving in the opposite direction. Male insecurities about the intimate body have risen, while those of women have decreased.

    It is now also silently accepted that young women between the ages of 17-18 and 25 will become intimate with a series of young men, before settling down with one. Hence American women typically have a number of sex partners before settling on one by whom they begin having children. The USA has grown more diverse. Every college has foreign students; only the Moslems are circumcised. There are now young men of Latino ancestry everywhere; most are intact. Intact is the emerging norm west of the Continental Divide.

    The upshot is that it is much more common than before for a young American woman to have intimate experience with both kids of men. A fair fraction of these women have concluded that intact is more enjoyable, a conclusion that grounds their intactivism. Women for whom this is the case are often reluctant to broadcast the fact, if only out of respect for their current partner.

    At any rate, I am not surprised that women are in the vanguard of intactivism, which is an obvious corollary of body acceptance.

    • becky Wow seriously? It’s clenaer, looks nicer and I’m sorry you feel like men in their natural state are dirty and ugly. Do you think people with big noses or flat chests need to have nose jobs and breast implants in order to be socially acceptable? Ideally, there are three sets of people who see someone’s genitals, and hopefully they are all mature and sane enough to not judge another person by the appearance of their genitals: parents, medical professionals, and significant other. Parents have no business condemning their children because of their genitals. Doctors and medical professionals have no business condemning someone because of their genitals, and it would be incredibly unprofessional to do so. If someone is in a relationship with another person that includes sex, hopefully they are mature and respectful enough to not reject someone over the appearance of their genitalia. I really wish those of you in the dirty and ugly camp would THINK before you post that hateful nonsense.@#13, jeff If God intended for men to not have a foreskin, wouldn’t He have created man without a foreskin and not rely on humans to fix His mistake ? I’m hoping you were saying this to troll and not from actually thinking this.@#16, sara All I have to say is, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! Absolutely! Do most Americans who think this is the way everyone in the world does (when they cite personal stories and not factual statistics which would include the millions (billions?) of men globally who are not circumcised) because of a lunatic who wanted to use it as a punitive measure to stop little boys from masturbating. It’s sad Dr. Kellogg’s unhealthy obsessions have become reality for so many Americans today.@#22, trixie Amen. Shame on whoever decided to post this article as unbiased, global fact.The only situations in which someone should have be circumcised is if it becomes medically necessary or they choose to do it themselves for aesthetic or religious reasons. If people want to get a circumcision because of religious reasons, then that’s their choice but it should be a personal choice they make when they are old enough to make the decision expressing their own personal devotion to their faith Not something that was forced on them by other people. It’s lost on me how something you don’t choose to do yourself can have any sort of religious importance, but I grew up in a religion where people don’t even get baptized unless/until they are old enough to choose to make that expression of faith, so I probably do have a cultural bias on that even though I think it’s the objectively reasonable point of view to have.

  • Iza

    Reading these comments only confirms for me that I was right to fight my ex husband when he said he wanted our two sons circumcised. I am happy to report I won (thank goodness!) I am so sad to hear such anguish and can only hope that this sanctioned mutilation is no longer practised one day.

  • Perhaps I’m an outlier. I’m a male who is circumcised and perfectly happy with it. According to my parents, the operation was done under local anesthesia, as it’s always been done in their experience. I’ve never felt like I’m missing a part of myself. I’ve never felt a sexual lack for not being circumcised. My parents chose to have me circumcised because it was considered to be the medically correct at the time. When the evidence had shifted the other way as it tends to shift back and forth, they didn’t have my youngest brother circumcised. As of 2012 the evidence is back in favor of circumcision. It’s a small amount, such that I don’t think any parent opposed to circumcision should feel guilty for not doing it (not like the parents who refuse to vaccinate their children), but neither is there scientific evidence against.

    So, ultimately, I guess I just wanted to share a dissenting opinion. I’m cut and I don’t feel I’m any less of a man than someone who has had a tonsillectomy or other necessary medical operation.

  • Leonie de Bot

    Again, I am amazed at this procedure in the US being ‘normal’. I only learned about this a year ago and being a European (Dutch) I have no way to relate to this. Never met a circumcised man in my life, at least not naked and that I know of! 😉
    It is just NO issue here, none at all. As far as I knew, it was a jewish thing to circumcise boys! Men, you are perfect with all of you intact!

  • William

    Sean Duggan,

    Be that as it may, that doesn’t mean you or anyone else should force this barbaric act on a child.

    I’m much similar to OP. I was circumcised at birth. Absolutely hate it. I’m restoring my foreskin. restoringforeskin.org
    Sex and masturbation are way better, even with a restored foreskin.

  • Ali Michel

    Thanks so much for writing this. We need more men as brave as you to stand up and tell their story. We have been told as a society that men are fine, that women prefer a cut penis. The truth is that is all cultural conditioning. There is nothing right about denying a person regardless of gender their whole functioning body. My husband is cut and I wish that he wasn’t. I don’t love him any less. He is my best friend. We also have two intact sons. It has not been an easy journey for either of us. How can you tell the person that you love with all your heart that something so profound has been stolen from them. I applaud any man who can realize this and break the cycle. Thanks.

  • Rob~

    Sean? Try keeping your glans covered for a couple weeks – use an o-ring, or you can even order a retainer such as the YourSkin Cone from TLC. Do a search for “foreskin restoration” for more info. I guarantee after those two weeks of constant coverage, you’ll realize you’re lacking a lot.

    BTW, a “slight advantage” (which is still a lie – the U.S. is the only country that claims that and also the only one that makes a ton of money performing this unnecessary procedure – those foreskins are sold for medical research and cosmetics for a ton of money) does not make something acceptable. The fact is that there is no medical need for it and it should be left to the person who owns the penis. Anything else is a violation of that person’s right to a whole body.

  • Sky

    I think many women just naturally defer this decision to their husbands. I’m not sure why. I was the same. My sister was the same. I had no plans to research the topic. It was dad’s decision. He planned on circ’ing because that’s what was done to him. Then one day I mentioned to him that all the natural pregnancy/birthing books described it as mutilation. He was shocked. Then we saw a video at our childbirth class of a doctor discussing all the function of the foreskin and stating that these things aren’t thought at medical school. As a chiropractor, my husband was upset when he realized that he hadn’t been thought those things in chiropractic school either. Eight years of college with a focus on anatomy and here was info he’d never heard. So he did his research. Happily, we now have two intact sons. Ladies, please speak up to your partners. Just because you don’t have a penis doesn’t mean you don’t share in the decision.

  • Sky

    “taught” not “thought”

    Darn autocorrect.

  • Andrew

    I am a 42 year old Canadian circumcised male. As a child I didn’t realize anything was missing. In fact I only every remember seeing one uncircumcised penis as a boy – that boy was teased as everyone thought there was something wrong with him. To this day I have not seen an intact adult penis ‘in the flesh’. It’s hard for me to imagine what my penis should look like. I really didn’t realize what was taken from me until my early twenties. It has made me resent my parents although I have never discussed this with them. I would watch girlfriends orgasm and really not have a clue what they were feeling. For me, ejaculation is the release of an urge and not much else. I have always had a strong sex drive and ejaculation was merely a way to relieve it, much like urinating is the way you cure the sensation of a full bladder. To say the least, my ‘climaxes’ are anticlimactic. I’ve also always wondered how the constant exposure and simulation of the penis affects the sexual and mental development of a boy. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and learned recently that personality disorders are far more common in circumcised men. I’m not trying to blame all my problems on circumcision, but I do feel robbed and violated. I feel incomplete and, in a way, crippled. A part of my body, a very intimate part of my body, was taken without my consent and it was taken by the very people that were meant to protect me. My last girlfriend had firsthand knowledge and an understanding of the functioning of an intact penis. Despite the fact I am a biologist, and a man, I really have a difficult time imagining how this part of my body was meant to function. That’s rather sad.

  • Kay

    As a mother, I feel so completely wrong that it would even be my choice, yet it is. Why? What does it have to do with me what my son will want or need in 20,30 or 40 years time? What kind of pressure is that?

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